When I was still “wet behind the ears” mobile telephones and supermarket scanners were still a “pipe dream” in the minds of the technical whiz kids, we gazed in amazement at the huge shiny new Xerox copier in the general office at my place of gainful employment. Now the trick in those days, performed by the joker, that was to be found in every office, was to sit on the machine minus trousers and underpants and pin the result of the magic photo copy in some conspicuous place.

Naturally episodes such as this were frowned upon by the management and short of getting all staff to undress and inspect their rear ends, photocopy in hand, it was not possibly to find the offender. Such juvenile behaviour is quite frankly “peanuts” compared with what happened in a supermarket in Seattle. This joker thought it would be great fun to plop his penis onto the self-service scanner and call over an unsuspecting female shop worker, perhaps disappointed that it would not give him a price! Well naturally she was shocked and somewhat surprised at the display, much to the amusement of our joker. A male worker saw his colleague reacting and came over to see what was happening.

Naturally the police were called and the staff described to the long arm of the law that the man’s penis was simply resting on top of the scanner; how delightful. Well we have to hope that this is not going to be the “new Xerox trend” but, we will have to wait until he appears in court and hear what the Judge has to say. The man fled the premises, but he decided to return to the scene and was recognised and caught by the police.

Not content with his previous dubious performance he got into a shoving match with security trying to escort him from the premises. When arrested and told why, the joker shouted at the cops “I didn’t whip my c**k out”.  Well no, you just placed it carefully onto the scanner didn’t you?